Do you hate your job? Well, check out these jobs from the past and be grateful for the job you have because it is not these jobs.
Back in the day of jesters entertaining kings, a very select few who could fart on command would be paid quite well in order to perform their tasks along with letting a few rip.
In the court of Henry the 2nd in the 12th century, Roulandus le Fartere was the professional farter. His most important duty was to perform “unum saltum et siffletum et unum bumbulum” or “one jump, one whistle, and one fart” for the court every year on Christmas.
Just like the opening scene of Frozen, minus the singing and dancing in unison. Fridges and freezers didn’t exist, so to keep shit cold you would hire an ice cutter to go out and get some fresh ice.
Rap battles didn’t start at the shelter in 8-mile. It started in the 5th century baby. “Flyting” was a popular form of entertainment in which people would hurl insults at each other in poetic verses.
James IV and V of Scotland actually employed professional flyters to entertain the courts. These insults were typically very offensive and sexual to really get a rise out of the audience.
Here is an example of a documented Flyting battle between Dunbar and Kennedie from the 16th century.
“Gray-visaged gallows-bird, out of your wits gone wild,
Loathsome and lousy, as wet as a cress,
Since you with worship would so fain be styled,
Hail, Monsignor! Your balls droop below your dress.”
Back in the day, people would go to a Phrenologist and pay him to read their intelligence by inspecting the shape of their heads.
When the church started to lose it’s sway in 18th century Britain, people who went to church would only go because of their social status: They HAD to be seen going to church. However when they were there they would simply goof around or doze off.
That’s where Sluggard Walkers came in. They would pace the church aisles and if they caught anyone dozing off, they would pull out a big stick and wack them in the head.
Chimney sweeps would be in charge of getting into the chimneys and cleaning out all of the soot that built up in the winter due to the excessive burning of wood to keep homes warm.
Armpit Hair Plucker
Back when the bath houses of ancient Rome were booming, it was embarrassing to show up with hairy, smelly pits. So why not hire someone to pluck the hairs away for you? The pluckers used red hot bronze tweezers to get rid of the hairs. That’s gotta feel nice.
Want to take a guess as to what these guys did? Aww yeaa. They planned orgies for the ancient Romans. Responsibilities included: Planning the food, drink, music, and which men and women would attend.
If the planner did a great job, he’d even be invited to join in. That’s better than any tip.